Nucking Sweet

Pressing ALT when you click reblog:

acrylicemulator:

ornerycrabcakes:

eridantheampora:

My first reaction:

Then it was: 

((IT WWORKS))

Holy fucking shit.

holy

fucking

shit

holy

fuckingshit

(via ambitiousbard)

Pottermore or whatever

So I’m a Hufflepuff.  Yay?

High Seas, Low Tides (my first forray into DMing, with Pirates of the Spanish Main)

Seriously, I never knew how awesome it would be to DM, but man it was a hell of a lot of fun! Just a rundown for you gents and ladies on how awesome this story has turned out so far.

The story is set in a fictional/fantastical version of the early 1600’s, in a British port town know as Port Martin. Our players are Hamel Vesser, a Dutch librarian with no combat prowess whatsoever, Corporal Zane Pointer, a British marine who’s primary character trait is being an asshole, Quinten McAllister, an Irish merc who drinks whenever alcohol is mentioned, and Mansfield Gale, a Colonial smuggler with a tendency to run into bad luck.

The story starts with a few lucky sailors stumbling into the pub with a lot of gold and a lot of injuries. They tell the tale of finding a shipwreck on an isle about a two day’s sail away. They stop to help the three inhabitants they find, only to be attacked and force to kill and loot these men, who seem to have become feral. Quinten, Zane, and Mansfield all find this interesting, while Hamel follows an irate Marine officer (Zane’s superior) and two subordinates down to the docks. They talk frantically of reports from another town along the coast of a ship approaching Port Martin, with hushed voices and mentions of the name “Cortez”.

Fairly soon after they make it to the Marine office at the docks, the ship mentioned, rapidly approaches the dock (much faster than should be possible). The ship is decrepit, old, and flying a tattered French flag. The deck is completely covered in a thick fog that obscures anyone from viewing it. Zane and Mansfield, hearing commotion from the docks, run their (Zane for the office, Mansfield to make sure his ship is alright), while Quinten goes to the inn to grab his weapons, and Hamel runs back to his library to prepare to flee (again, no fighty).

After fighting three obviously feral pirates that fall off the ship and climb onto the dock, the three are greeted by three men. One very tall wearing a naval uniform that no one can recognize, a Cuban man who is extremely buff and angry, and their leader, a suave man by the name of De Cortez.

De Cortez offers the Naval officer an ultimatum: “Either every man, woman, and child is moved out of Port Martin by this time next year… or they face the wrath of the Sea upon them all. If any remain by next year… I will skewer them all with my own blade by hand.” When the naval officer orders his men to attack, De Cortez pulls out a trinket which immediately indoctrinates any of the men who failed a Spirit check (which was all of them, they all had d4 Spirit)

De Cortez then turns to the players, who have all been on the dock for this whole encounter. He then addresses each of their inquiries. The ship is known as the Midnight Runner. It is an old British spy ship that disappeared 30 years ago. It has become a thing of legend, now roaming the seas every few years or so. The man who ran the ship, Commander Vincent Cobb hasn’t been seen since the ship disappeared.

De Cortez tells them each “I will be seeing you again. All of you… The Irishman with a past to bury… the Dutchman cowering with his books and puppy dog… the Colonist that thinks he won’t get caught… and the bitter Britishman, following so desperately in daddy’s footsteps.”

Zane calls out for De Cortez to stay and fight, which De Cortez responds to by shooting Zane in the shoulder. Mansfield fires a crossbow bolt back at him, which his beefy cohort catches and splinters into pieces. The session ends with Zane decking the naval officer for being useless in the entire fight.